I’ve got a long and occasionally complicated relationship with performing. At primary school I loved it and would take any opportunity offered without a second thought.
When I started secondary school I played in a whole school assembly. This was a really pivotal moment for me. I can still see the hall full of a thousand children, all bigger and older than me. This was the first time I felt nervousness as a musician.
As I went through secondary school I performed a lot but I was never really comfortable as a soloist and struggled with the physical and emotional impact of nervousness in performances. I still loved playing in string quartets orchestras and just about an ensemble that would have me but I was haunted by thoughts of “having nothing worth hearing” as an individual.
As an undergraduate I was lucky to get some really structured and practical support to change my relationship with performing. And throughout my later years at music college I deliberately and strategically sought out opportunities to practise the processes of performing.
I ended up leaving college in great shape but as a freelancer I’ve found it really difficult to maintain the skill of solo performance because I use it so rarely these days.
This year aaaaaaall the viola jobs in UK orchestras seem to be advertised. I’m not quite sure why (although I have a few theories) but the result is that I’ve applied for and auditioned for more jobs in the last 8 months than I have in the 8 years since leaving music college.
Auditions are a particularly concentrated (and often brutal) type of performance and in a lot of ways you’ll only get better at auditioning by doing auditions. But there are still lots of ways you can prepare for the specific circumstances of performing your viola or playing under pressure.
And even if you’re not auditioning then these techniques will still be worth trying and are a great way to challenge yourself and ultimately level up your playing.
Go in a different room
Try playing your pieces in a less familiar environment. It’s amazing how different your instrument can sound just from a change of room size/ floor covering/ temperature. If you’re preparing for an audition make it an event and include entering the room, playing all your repertoire without stopping and leaving again.
Make a recording
You can delete it as soon as you’ve made it and it doesn’t have to be any more than the microphone on your phone but somehow like a tree falling in the woods the experience of making sound changes when it’s made to be heard.
Play to a friend
Or a family member, or a colleague. They don’t need to be a musician and they don’t need to make any comment. Like the recording somehow just having a body with a pair of ears makes a difference to the way we play.
Visualisation
Imagine your performance in as much, vivid detail as possible. Think through the whole process from travelling to the venue, the warm up, entering the audition room and the rest. This works really well as a guided meditation especially when you pair it with deep relaxation techniques. You can even include listening to your favourite recordings of the music you’re preparing.
